"Dear god, let the pilot not be suicidal or a drunk"

Gosh I hate planes. Well I used to despise them, and "unlucky" for me, I travel alot. Now I've gotten better and just stress at take off and landing. I remember when I was young, I didn't really care. Maybe it was because I wasn't aware of what could happen. Then when I hit my teen years after 9/11, I started making mental lists: maybe the dude with the hat has a gun? What if the plane catches on fire? Or we miss our landing? Or the takeoff? If something happens, I won't have a suitcase anymore. Does that mean I'll get to go shopping? But if the plane crashes, I probably won't get to.

The whole process of flying is stressful: get to the airport 2 hours earlier, which means packing your bags the night before, put an alarm clock at 5 am and asking for an early breakfast. Then wake the grumpy kids up, get a taxi, cue for 1 hour at check in, "you are 2 kilos over the authorised limit", pay the fine, go through security and dash for the gate. Plus for some reason, the kids always seem to disappear somewhere. You hear an announcement "the plane will be delayed", general grown. Once your plane is finally announced, you get to cue up again to board, then wait for the person in front of you to put away his bag in the overhead storage area, find your seat, ignore the security announcement and brace yourself for take off. You have just enough time for a prayer to the god of planes: "please let the pilot not be suicidal or drunk. I hope he knows what he is doing", and the plane takes off.

For those out there who, like me, tend to stress before taking the plane, here are a few tips:

-Meds. That was my first reflex, and my mom's. I'm not talking about anything strong, just some herbal pills or homeopathy. Something over the counter. I take 2gr/1pill or Melatonin or Metarelax 1 hour before the flight. Just head to the local pharmacy and ask for an anti-stress. 

- Rituals. Dumb, I know, but they help. Some people need to have the same dinner the night before the flight, others have to carry their lucky charm. Personally, I need to think "safe trip, safe travel, safe vacation" three times. Again, dumb, but I do feel better after that.

- Books and magazines. This is during take off or landing. If you really can't stand it, find yourself a good book or magazine to try and take your mind off it.

- Talk to your neighbour. At least you'll make a new friend.

- Look out the window. I'm a slight control freak, and I like to know what's going on. Which is one of the reasons why I hate flying: I can't control anything. So instead I look out the window to see what is going on, and eventually the landscape.

- Sleep. If you can, try sleeping before take off. That's my brother's special technique. Only some people have this special capacity of sleeping wherever, whenever.

- Do something else. During the flight, try thinking about something else: read a book, magazine, watch a movie, play a game etc.

I tend to remember, as a kid, that taking the airplane was "fun". There was nearly no security checks, I could run up and down the lanes, people could smoke, the seats were bigger, there was more space, and I could even sleep on the floor. I even remember a trip to Asia where everyone was sleeping on the floor. Taking the train also used to be fun: where changing wagons was a sport, a lady would come sell you food and drinks (instead of going to the bar), and when you flushed the toilets, you could see the tracks.

And I just wanted to know, I can't be the only one who grips the armrest and thinks "please don't crash" every time the plane turns (or does anything for that matter) during takeoff? 

"I spent a whole day without wifi!"... do you want a medal?

I recently read an article in a girly teen magazine (it was the only thing that was remotely interesting to read at the doctor’s office) about a girl who spent the whole day without Wi-Fi. They made a huge deal out of it, and the girl sounded like she had just saved a bunch of kitten from a house on fire. Have we really arrived to this? Where going a day without Wi-Fi is a huge achievement and should be added to you CV: “Capable of going a day with no Wi-Fi and not having a meltdown”? I’ve talked to a few teenagers about it, asking them what they would do without Wi-Fi. For them, it was unthinkable. The worst, is that I am really not that older than them. We are basically from the same generation.

 I’ve even seen this with my older brother: we just arrived to a new hotel, and he was pissed because there was no Internet connection at first, then it was slow. Even adults have trouble going a day without relying on Internet: emails, work related stuff, Internet, downloads etc. What do we do the day Internet goes down and there’s no more Google? Where would you find how to clean a kettle?

If I’m completely honest, I’m a lot on Internet. Usually it’s for watching my TV-shows, anything work related and emails. Once in a while YouTube or amazon, and on a few rare occasions Facebook or Linkedin. But I see my dad who is constantly checking his Blackberry for emails, or my brother sending BBMs to his friends. After dinner, you won’t find us in front of the TV, but all staring at our laptops, sometimes in the same room.

We actually put up three things to limit our addiction to Internet:

-       No Internet Saturday. Basically, on Friday we unplug our router and turn off the cellular network on our phones. We even extended it to no electronics Saturday, where phones only allowed to call or text in emergency, laptops are put away and the TV is off during the day.

-       Wi-Fi off at night. I realized that I needed to go on Internet before going to bed and when I woke up. So basically I would be sleepy, ready for bed, then I’d take my iPhone and read a page of FML or 9gag. This resulted in waking my brain up and I’d have a really hard time to fall asleep. So Wi-Fi is shut off from 8pm-9am.

-       Family game night. Oh god, what an invention… This is usually on a weekend day. Basically after dinner, we bust out the scrabble, rumikube or monopoly. No phones allowed, no TV and no computers.

I mean it’s not that hard to let go of your laptop and Blackberry and go read a book instead. I never want my kids to identify themselves to that girl, and be proud whenever they let go of their IPhone for one day. They should be able to do it regularly and rely more on the library, books or just play outside.

Kids and their damn ipads

I babysit a lot, I've been a nanny every summer for the past three years (always the same family) and I noticed something:  kids and teenagers are unable to occupy themselves. They always have some kind of a screen infront of them. It can vary from tv, to nintendo ds, to mommy's iphone or daddy's tablet. They just seem unable to distract themselves.

We go to a restaurant, they are all asking for the iPad or my phone. In the car, the same thing. Their mom packs toys and colouring books in their backpack, but they could honestly care less. All they want is the iPad. They then go on youtube and look up Mickey Mouse Playhouse (the kids are between 2 and 6) or else they play angry birds.

The other day I was at the beach, and two families with 3 kids each sat next to us. Straight away, the youngest one started crying for her iPad and the oldest asking for his gameboy. Then all 6 kids sat under the umbrella and watched a movie for the rest of the afternoon. Why go to the beach? And the parents didn't seem to care. 

A their age, I used to play with a bucket in the sand or jump in the waves. At restaurants I would bring a few toys along and a colouring book. There were some rare occasions where I would play my "gameboy" (now called a nintendo), but that was usually at the end of family dinners. Considering I am from a French family, our dinners can last up to 5 hours (no joking), and that can be excruciating long for a kid. But even then, I would play with other kids.

So after a long week of only seeing the kids in front of their damn iPads, I decided to take action:

1. No more taking the IPad without asking. I would be working on something, leave it on the bed for 20 seconds, and when I came back, it would have disappeared. So I told them: I need to work on the IPad, and I don't like it when you take it without asking. So from now on, you need to ask.

2. No screens during the day. No TV, Nintendo, iPhone, iPads whatever. None of those are to be seen. Even I would follow that rule. It was tough the first day, but then I busted out a treasure hunt, colouring books and a homemade car, and they completely forgot about it.

3. TV only after dinner, for 40 minutes max. It's part of their bedtime to watch Dora or Diego before going to bed. So we kept 40 minutes after dinner, before brushing their teethes, where they could watch whatever they wanted. Plus it calms them down.

4. Praise and charts. I made a chart for each kid, where there were different "chores", and if they did them well, they got a smilie face. Along with "brushing teeth", "putting away clothes" and "throw away plastic dishes", I added: "lasted a day without asking for a screen". If they had only smilies on the chart, then after 3 days, they got a special surprise (movie night with popcorn, a little gift, a small party etc). Along with that, I praised them every time I put a smilie on their chart.

5. Books. Colouring books, pop-up books, reading books, books with pictures... I brought along with me quite a few books, their mom bought a few more, and we initiated them to books. Slowly they were more asking for books in the car than the iPads.

6. Limited computer time. This is mainly for older kids. I don't believe in tracking what your kids are doing on Internet, but I do believe in limiting their time on it during the day. Last year, I took care of a 14 year old for a whole 2 months. The first week he was constantly on his computer, playing games and going on Facebook. I could understand that he was bored, as he was the oldest kid in his family (the others were 2, 4, and 7 years old). But it was getting out of hand: I didn't know if he was on the computer for his homework or just to play. After some arguing, he was to do his homework sitting next to me 1 hour after he got home from school (like this he gets a bit of down time: eat, rest, hang with friends etc. But no computer). After his homework was done, he was to leave his laptop on the table, and he would only get permission to take it after dinner, at 8pm (his bedtime is at 10pm). Then at 10 pm, Internet was switched off. It actually worked pretty well. 

7. Offer activities. To keep on going with my story about the teenager and his computer, I also (with his parent's permission) signed him up for tennis. He was put in a group with other teens his age and actually started to love the sport and make new friends. He know spends more time at tennis than on his computer. Otherwise there are other activities to propose: dance, football, volleyball, track and field, art classes, language classes (a bit boring), hockey, paintball (boys love that, but can be pretty expensive), rugby, soccer, music etc. Usually schools offer after school activities, but some people might feel more comfortable with things that are unrelated to their school (the other students, the teachers, feeling judged etc).

8. No electronics at the table. Personally, that rule comes naturally for me: I never have my phone at the table. I thought it was common sense, as it's one of the only moments where the family is reunited during the day. But I see so many people, not only teenagers, with their phones at the table. You don't have to switch it off, just keep it in your pocket. Dinner takes, what, 30 minutes? You can disconnect from your phone for 30 minutes.

Those were a few rules I applied throughout my nannying experiences. But I was lucky: the kids were well behaved, they listened and actually did what I told them to do. And my teenager wasn't as rebellious as the others. I still am baffled whenever I see that a 2 year old is capable of using my iPhone and actually needs it to distract himself. Aren't those what barbies and legos are for?

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The worst two words to hear: "I'm bored"

I don't like being bored at the beach. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there. People tell me: "you're young, go meet people and have fun on the beach". Yes, you are right: I am young. But I still think the beach is boring. There is sand everywhere (clothes, shoes, hair and places where the sun doesn't shine), kids screaming (and I love kids), boobs (I'm a prude: I like my boobs in a swimsuite, not out there for everyone to see) and nothing to do. You just literally lay there for hours trying to get a tan that will last 3 months. Ok, I like to get tanned and I love to go swimming, even though I'm scared of sharks. I think there's so much more to the beach than just lying there perfecting your tan.

Read a book- it can be a book on the kindle, iphone or a real paper book. I've already come across on certain beaches a library. Yes, a library with books on the beach. If you don't know what to read, check out my previous blog post on books worth reading: http://newrandomgirl.blogspot.com./2013/04/books-you-must-read.html

Learn to scuba dive, or go snorkelling. If you are over 13, then you can initiate yourself to scuba diving. The process takes hardly a week and is loads of fun: you start of in a pool with your oxygen bottle and the whole equipement, and you end up swimming in the ocean next to daulphines, turtles and amazing fishes. Some people have trouble with the whole oxygen tank and prefer snorklling. It's nearly as fun and you can sometimes see the same thing. The only difference is that with scubadiving you can go down 50 meters, while with snorkling you're limited with what's infront of you.

Try surfing. This might not be an option for everybody as you need waves. Personally, I suck as surfing (snowboarding, skiing, skating etc) but for those who can stay stable on a plank,

I would highly recommend it. It's a fun sport for all ages.

Do some exercise. For those who really hate doing nothing, try going for a run on the beach, or a long swim. To avoid from 12:00-3pm as it might be too warm.

Go for a walk, who knows, there might be a shop on the way that sells cute bracelets.

Write a blog post. What do you think inspired this one?

Beach volleyball. There's always a game of beach volleyball going on somewhere. But if you are like me: shy and a big socially awkward, then finding your balls to go and play might be hard. I still haven't found mine.

Fishing. I love fishing. But I've always been unable to take the fish out of the hook.

Don't go to the beach. If you really don't like the beach, then don't go. I don't mind being bored for a day or two. Then I go back, otherwise I go for an hour or so, then go do something else: sightseeing, running, tennis, shopping etc. I hate seeing people on their ipads, tablets, phones or even laptops when they are at the beach. You can always leave them at home and come back to it in the evenings. At least you'll have something to look forward too.

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Try miming diarrhoea in a Chinese hospital...

I've traveled a lot. Ever since I was 3 months, we have traveled every summer and I've come to realise something: English isn't always helpful. My mother tongue is French, but I've been in an American school since pre-school. So you would think that speaking two languages fluently might be helpful when travelling, but oh no.

Miming- It's easy to mime a pig in a Japanese market, but try miming diarrhoea in a Chinese hospital. The number of times this technique has helped me, it's pretty incredible. Just yesterday I was looking for kettle, when I walked into a shop where they spoke no English (or French). So I ended up taking a cup on the shelf, pointing to water and going "bloop bloop bloop". And he understood it. My advice: don't be ashamed of miming, and try using noises. You'll look silly, but at least you'll get your message across.

Don't speak louder: it's no use. If they don't speak English, then don't raise your voice, they still won't get it. It's the same thing for deaf people: it doesn't you'll speak louder that they will hear any better. Try speaking slower, there might be a word they recognise, and use motions, or even drawings.

Try learning a few local words or at least the numbers until 10. It comes in handy when you have to pay or a table at a restaurant. And it also shows that you are making an effort. Nothing annoys me more than have (for example), a French couple walk into a restaurant and make absolutely no effort to either understand or speak the language. Plus you might notice that it amuses others when you try to speak their language.

Don't get angry or upset: it's the worst thing you can do. Then the other person gets upset, and you are going no where. There's an even better chance you'll get worst customer service. Just stay calm, try drawing, or even asking for help from people passing by. Or else try miming, that always works.

Get a translator- I don't mean a person, but one of those electronic translators you can buy on amazon or some other shop. Don't get an application for the Iphone or Android, as you usually need internet to use them. I prefer the electronic translator to those dialogue books because they can actually talk, and you can write in a sentence and it will translate it correctly. 

That's all the advice I have for now. There's surely more, but I can't think of any right now. 

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5 stages of grief when finishing a TV show

I recently just finished watching Desperate Housewives (I know, I am way behind. But I got bored of the show, stopped watching, then started watching it again a few weeks ago), and I when I was done, I realized how bored I was and how there was nothing else to watch (I did find a few new good series, but most of them are in their first season). So here are the 5 stages of grief when finishing a show:

1.     Denial: No! It can’t be over! There’s probably a new episode coming out next week or next month. *Google and search everything about the show*. They wouldn’t do this to me.

2.     Anger: How dare they! Plus it was a crappy ending. Why would they stop such a good show! They could have gone on for a few more years.

3.     Bargaining: Maybe I can send them a letter? Or if I get a good grade on my next exam they might put the show back on.

4.     Depression: *Sobbing and eating a tub of ice cream while watching the reruns on tv*. That was such a good show, how could it be over? My life is over, I have nothing else to do.

5.     Acceptance: Oh well, it was a good show… sorta. Oooohhhh Pretty Little Liars is back on, that seems interesting. Who is “A”?

Personally, I’ve found a pretty good show: Under the Dome. But since it just started, and I’m on vacation, I’ve decided to stare a bit less at my computer screen, and a bit more at the view. Also, if you don’t know where to watch your shows, here are a few good websites who stream the night after they air in the US:

www.icefilms.info - Good for streaming movies and any TV show, and also lets you download in SD and HD

vodly.to/?tv – known as 1channel until recently, it offers great one of the largest variety of streaming (from deadliest catch, to the bachelorette, or suits or how I met your mother). It doesn’t offer any downloads. There is also a movie section, which is also great. This is my go-to website for movies and shows.

watchseries.lt – I use this one as a backup when voldy.to is having technical problems, or when they are missing a few episodes. Again, a huge variety of tv shows, and all in streaming

www.tvshow7.eu - Good site, which is always updated. However they only offer the mainstream tv shows (Pretty little liars, suits, Cougar Town etc) and no reality shows.

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Living alone

Have you ever tried living alone? I don’t mean just staying one night home when the parents are away for the weekend, but really living alone; in your own apartment, with your own furniture, your own food and your own schedule.

 Frankly, I love it during the weeks: you can come and go as you want, don’t want to go to college this morning? Oh well, I’ll try again tomorrow. No one is nagging, telling you what to do, when to sleep, when to eat etc. Plus you can have friends over whenever, without having that nagging feeling that you have to restrain yourself because your mom is in the room next door.

This is where I envy people living on campus (we don’t have one): they have roommates or flatmates. At least they have some kind of company. I don’t know anyone in my building and no one outside of my school. And that’s where you start experiencing the downsides of living alone: you are all alone.

My apartment is small

During the week, it’s manageable: there are classes, homework, extra work, sports, hang out with friends etc. But when comes the weekend, that’s when I discover how small my apartment is and how alone I am. I just turn in circles like a lion in a cage: bathroom-bedroom, bedroom-bathroom. Hello? Is there anybody around here?

Where is everybody?

Personally, all of my friends leave on the weekends to go see their families, so there is no one to hang out with too much. I get bored and restless easily. I can’t do a whole day of TV, maybe just an afternoon. I don't want to go to the cinema alone... I feel lame.

I’m bored!!!!!

There isn’t much to do in my town or in my apartment. That’s when you whish your family was there. At least you’d be watching TV with someone else, and chatting. I do go to museums and all, but after a while, you've kinda done them all.

Mom?

You also discover the hard task of doing the dishes and what happens the day you say “I’ll do them tomorrow”. You know you won’t and it’ll just keep pilling up. There’s no one there to do the cleaning, or help do the cleaning, or the laundry, or the grocery shopping, or the cooking… And when you hear a creepy sound at night, you can’t tell yourself it’s your dad walking up the stairs…

Dress to impress… or not

I can burp, not wash my hair and stay in my pjs all day without anyone judging me or commenting. And eat however I want! Like a pig in front of the tv, or sprawled in my bed.

I’ve got to say that living alone is a nice experience, worth trying for a year or so. I like my space and stuff to be done my way, so I know it's going to be challenging to find someone to room with, without it turning into a fight. But living alone has made me more independent, I get to finally have my own daily routine and I enjoy staying with my family much more.

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